


The Last Words of a Hero

by Rokichan



Series: Rise. Rise and Live Again [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Love, Character Death, Emotional Hurt, Fire, Heavy Angst, Housefire, I hurt them both so much, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Older Brothers, Sorry Not Sorry, Stabbing, Why Did I Write This?, the Miya twins aren't okay in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27872382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rokichan/pseuds/Rokichan
Summary: Osamu has always heard how Aran would say that “Atsumu's biggest blessing was that he had Osamu.”That was a lie.Osamu was the one who was blessed to have someone like Atsumu as his brother. He was the one who was blessed that Atsumu loved him and cherished and cared for him. He was blessed that Atsumu would always stay by his side.But do those words have any truth behind it?
Series: Rise. Rise and Live Again [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2049171
Kudos: 32





	The Last Words of a Hero

**Author's Note:**

> I advise everyone to read this note. This one-shot of mines contains mentions of panic attacks, implied abuse, alcoholism, as well as blood, stabbing, and fires. now they are only mentioned but even so. I do not want to be the cause for any relapses or triggers so please: if any of you readers have trauma pertaining to the above mentioned I advise you to click out of the fic. no matter how "past" you are over the trauma, it never truly leaves you. so please. don't push yourself.

Atsumu kept his eyes on the clock of his room, book open on his lap as he fiddled with the edges of the pages. The soft red glow from the digital clock cast a soft hue in a small circle on his desk, nothing but the sound of Atsumu’s slow breathing being the only sound in his room. 

10:50.

Ten minutes until the familiar sound of a door banging open will be heard throughout the silent house. He slowly closed the book and placed it on the bed before uncrossing his legs and swung it over the edge of the bed. He slowly stood up and quietly made his way over to his closed door, footsteps light and fleeting. Creaking the door open just a crack, he peeked outside the hallway before, taking in the sight of the dark hallway of their house. Seeing no indication of any movements at all from the shadows, he opened the door up to more and stepped into the hallway.

Atsumu felt as if he was stepping into the dangerous and fatal territory, eyes all on him and watching him like some sort of prey. Slow but gradual fear went up him from his toes to the top of his head the longer he was in the hallway. Footsteps still light and fleeting, he went across the hallway and held his fist up just barely away from the door. Closing his eyes slowly, the blond let out a shaky exhale.

Three soft raps were all Atsumu made, glancing down the hallway again as he let his hand drop to the side. the second which felt like minutes the longer he was in the darkness. It was too silent and Atsumu knew if any noises were made...something bad would happen. Something that he never would want his brother, Osamu to ever see. Because his brother's eyes are still pure and don't see the terrible darkness of people, unlike Atsumu who always witnessed it firsthand...

When their mother was still living with them. And before his father would down bottle after bottle…

It was never pretty when they would always argue and yell at each other. It got even uglier when they started talking about him and ‘Samu. But it was always terrifying when their father started drinking. 

Yells. 

Slurs. 

Curses. 

Death threats. 

Pounding doors. 

Screaming. 

Breaking glass.

He and Osamu hiding in the cove area that Atsumu took charge in making for the both of them, but mainly for Osamu because he was always more sensitive towards the yelling and arguments…but Atsumu was always with him. Always holding him close to protect him. Always being the one who held him so closely and tightly that he can feel the warmth of his precious brother and feel the tears wetting his shirts.

Atsumu couldn't even count the number of times he had to watch the heartbreaking sight of his dear younger brother shake and curl in on himself in the corner of their room, hands gripping his hair tightly as sobs wracked his body.

‘Please don't hit me too…’

‘Don't...don't leave me alone ‘Tsumu..’

‘Nono...I don't want this anymore…’

‘I don't want to be blamed anymore…’

‘Is this my fault?’

Always repeating those sentences the most, and always crying more as he blamed himself over and over again. Atsumu hated that. Their mother would always try to get close to Osamu when he's like that..but he always flinched away and backed off from her. He never let their mother touch him when he's like that. Surely not their father of course.

But only Atsumu.

Just...Atsumu.

He was the only one he trusted enough to let close when he's panicking, terrified, cornered. Atsumu was the only one he trusted. The only one who he would always go to when he's scared. The one he would always go to when he's hurt. The only one he would go to for help. Atsumu was the only one who was allowed to touch him and comfort him. To hold him close and whisper the soft reassurances, the reassurances where everything would be okay for both of them.

‘Shhh….i'm here ‘Samu…’

‘I would never, ever leave you alone ‘Samu. promise.’

‘I know ‘Samu...but I'm always here for you.’

‘You aren't to blame ‘Samu.’

‘None of this was ever your fault nor will it be…’

His soft whispers always made Osamu feel a bit better, a bit more calmer and able to breathe clearer. Aran was wrong. Atsumu was Osamu’s biggest blessing, not the other way around. Atsumu could always handle himself. Osamu couldn't. Atsumu could take care of himself. Osmu couldn't without a bit of pushing. Atsumu took care of him more than he could ever do himself. 

They needed each other. 

That was a given. 

The slow creak of the door opening made Atsumus little monologue cut off as he looked up into Osamu's tired, sleepy eyes. It was obvious he didn't sleep the entire time after finishing his homework..even when they had a rather draining practice that day. Osamu looked at him in silence, hands lightly gripping onto the doorknob. They didn't speak. They didn't have to. They both knew what would happen if they talked. Years of constant repetition and habits did that to them.

(Were Osamus' eyes always that dull and blank?)

Holding his hand out, Osamu took his twin's hand without hesitation, gripping it in his own hand tightly. Atsumu didn't mind the grip. It just meant that Osamu was still with him. That was all that mattered.

(Was his hand always that cold?)

Osamu closed the door behind slowly. Quietly. When they heard the quiet click, Atsumu slowly backed up and into his room across the hall while coaxing his quiet twin with him. As soon as Osamu was in his twins room, a loud bang was heard. Osamu jumped and his eyes widened in surprise. He knew what that meant. He knew what could happen. He meant more yelling. More cursing. More..more…

A gentle squeeze of his hand brought Osamu out of the beginnings of another panic attack. Looking at his hand and up at his twin who was giving him one of his gentle smiles.

‘It's okay. I'm here to protect you.’

Is what his eyes said. And who is Osamu to deny it when Atsumu was always there for him..no matter what Osamu did to him.

Swallowing shakily, Osamu nodded as he squeezed his hand back.

‘I trust you 'Tsumu..’

Atsumu smiled a bit more, pulling him towards the closet of his room. Letting go of the younger twin's hand, he turned around and reached into the darkness of the closet. His hands felt around the wall for a bit before he felt a little dip in the wall. He gently ran his nails along the crease and pulled back a thin wallpaper. He pulled it just a bit to reveal a handle. Atsumu pulled on it with a quiet grunt, opening it up just enough. He looked back at Osamu, eyes soft and observing.

Osamu was looking down, head hung as he clenched the front of his shirt in his iron grip. If Atsumu paid a bit more attention to him he could hear the shaky exhale coming from him, the uneven breathing, the shaking hand at his side. 

The blond's expression softened considerably, turning to the side and let his free handgrip the shaking one of Osamu's. Five light squeezes. A repeating message. A silent comfort and reassurance. One that was always used to calm down Osamu. 

“I'm here. You don't need to fear anyone or anything. It's okay.” 

Osamu shakily looked up at Atsumu, gripping his hand tightly in his. He nodded slowly and Atsumu smiled. He stood up and hugged Osamu tightly before pulling away, letting go of his hand. Osamu looked at the little door area and slowly crept towards it, climbing in and ducking his head slowly. The sounds of an angry yell and glass breaking made Osamu tense, hands shaking on the edge of the frame. 

“I'm here ‘Samu.”

The sound of his twin's voice made Osamu calm down a bit, shakily nodding as he slowly entered the spark cove. He looked around at the musty area, the unfinished wooden frames now having dim fairy lights strung up all across the posts. An open, hard dirt area now has a small mattress covered with blankets from their rooms. On the other wall, there was a small two by three cubby with small boxes in them, all filled up with snacks, bottled water, and those portable batteries to charge their phones with.

All courtesy of Atsumu.

All courtesy of Atsumu who started working his ass off at the young age of seven to get enough money to get them all of this that was in their safe haven. Atsumu did this. Just for Osamu. Just to protect him and keep him safe and help him feel safe. 

“I'm the older twin. I have to protect you. It's my duty after all.”

“Let me take care of you okay ‘Samu?”

His eyes looked over at the wall to the right of him, slowly walking over to it and put his ear next to it. Thin but thick enough that it was able to stand. Over the distinct sound of his breathing, he could hear glass breaking in the living room. Their father is most likely angry and very, very frustrated when he sees that Atsumu and he aren't there to be his punching bags…

He removed his ear from the wall, letting his hands linger there for a bit before turning around to see his brother pulling the door closed with the handle that was inside. It looked like he was having a bit of difficulty so Osamu walked over to him, putting a hand over Atsumu, and helped him pull it close. With a small grunt, it was a bit stuck. But they both pulled it close in time. 

Atsumu looked over at his gray-haired twin and sent him a small smile. Osamu gave him his own smile back. Taking his hand in his own, Atsumu coaxed Osamu over to the mattress in their little alcove. Osamu got onto the mattress and Atsumu pulled a blanket over him. The younger of the two held his hand out as the older sat down on the edge of the bed. The blond took his hand and squeezed it gently. A grounding method for Osamu.

Atsumu couldn't tell how Osamu’s hand was colder than usual. 

A way for him to know that he wasn't alone. That he still had his brother with him. That he was still there for him. That...his brother didn't leave him alone...

“Will you go to sleep soon ‘Tsumu?” Osamu asked quietly. 

Atsumu looked down at him and gave Osamu that tired smile, one that gave Osamu his answer without any needed words. But Atsumu still worded his answer out. For Osamu. Always for Osamu.

“Not yet ‘Samu. I'm not tired yet.” he replied softly.

Osamu rolled his eyes at that, huffing quietly as he glared up at him. Atsumu just let out a small breathless, quiet laugh. 

“Don't look at me like that. You're acting like the younger one now.”

Osamu just rolled his eyes again, honestly not surprised that he even said that. Atsumu was always a smartass and just had to have a reply for him. Whether or not if it was stupid or not. But it was always to help him feel a bit more lighthearted. 

Atsumu knew how scared he was at night. He knew how he couldn't handle anyone glaring or yelling at him. He knew that he could never handle being with adults on his own. He always knew everything about him. He knew and he always made it better.

It was subtle in ways that no one could ever tell but Osamu always knew when he was doing it. He could always tell when Osamu was panicking and did something to avert the attention on him. He took the initiative to bring the attention back to him. He knew how to divert attention away. How to help keep Osamu in the shadows which is where he wanted to be. The shadows where it was only him. The shadows where Atsumu was the only light he allowed inside.

Just for him. Just to protect him from any more hurt or pain.

Atsumu always gave to Osamu but he never received from Osamu.

He didn't want to. He just wanted his brother to feel the happiness he should have deserved from the beginning. And that hurt Osamu. 

He wanted to give it to him too. He wanted Atsumu to receive his own love too. He wanted to repay him for all the times Atsumu protected him. He wants Atsumu to feel his love too. The love that he never shows…

“Hey ‘Samu..why are you crying?”

Osamu blinked in surprise, now feeling the wetness on his cheeks. He used his free hand to feel his face. To feel the tears. He looked up at Atsumu to see worry and concern and tender love in his expression. 

The words he wanted to say were caught in his throat as he looked into his brother's eyes. Eyes that saw too much suffering and pain. Eyes always full of swirling darkness and pain. Eyes that always lost its shine and brightness, save for when he looked at him. At Osamu. The reason why he still needs to be alive. His purpose in life. The reason why he's always fighting and fighting and fighting. Why he never, ever stops or gives up.

Osamu wanted to do something for him too. He wanted to fight for Atsumu too. Even if he was younger he still wanted to protect him. Atsumu didn't have anyone to protect him...Osamu wanted to be that person.

“....let me protect you too.”

The words made Atsumu look at him with shock and surprise, eyes going wide just a fraction. It was shocking to hear that from Osamu...because Atsumu always thought that it was okay for Osamu...

“You don't have to do that ‘Samu- '' Atsumu said with a small wave of his free hand.

Osamu narrowed his eyes as he pushed himself up, hand propping him up as he looked at Atsumu in the eyes. And the setter could see something new in his eyes. Something that he never usually sees in them. It was...the embers of a fire. A fire that Atsumu never saw in his eyes ever since their mother left. A fire….that Atsumu wanted to both let die and protect.

“It's always you giving dumbass. I'm never allowed to give. Just receive, receive, and receive. Let me give for once.”

Atsumu was silent as he looked at Osamu with soft eyes, lips quirked up in a small smile. It was the smile he always gave Osamu when they were alone. 

Protective.

Loving.

Gentle.

Osamu hated how it was always Atsumu. Just Atsumu giving and giving and giving everything he had. He never received it. 

‘He doesn't deserve it.”

He says. 

Atsumu was stupid. Atsumu was dumb. He was so stupid and dumb. He knows that Atsumu knows what would happen if he always pushed and pushed himself. They both saw it before. They both know it. And Atsumu knows that Osamu hates it when he pushes himself. 

Biting his tongue. Always biting his tongue is what Osamu does when he sees Atsumu coming home tired. Coming home with those stupid bags underneath his eyes. Coming home full of stress and loads of homework that Osamu knows is difficult for Atsumu.

But he always ignores all of that. Just ignores himself. Ignores his own needs. His own wants. He ignores everything that his body tells him. He ignores all the damn hate and anger and frustration and sadness he feels. He locks it up in tiny little boxes and destroys them. He burns them up. He makes it like he never even felt it. He makes it as if he doesn't even have any emotions.

A stupid mask. A stupid, stupid facade he put up just for show and tell. A mask that drops around Osamu…

They were never okay. They never were okay from the start. But as long they had each other..it was always enough. Always enough for them to be able to live. They didn't need their father or their mother who left them alone to deal with the fear of their father. Just each other. Just one another. Osamu just needed Atsumu. And Atsumu just needed Osamu. That was all that they needed.

Osamu squeezed the hand that held Atsumus hand, closing his eyes. He let the silent tears slip down his face, biting the inside of his cheek. He slowly opened his eyes to see his brother, his hero. His savior. The light that kept Osamu from destroying himself from the inside out. It was going to be okay. It will always be okay. They are okay.

“Hey ‘Samu...are you okay?” Atsumus gentle tone asked softly, quietly. Gently. Warmly. 

Osamu looked at him with a searching, unsure gaze. He had to help him...he needed to. It was always give, give, give with Atsumu. And Osamu knew his giving needed to stop. It just had too…

And just one thing was coming to mind to have the infinite loop of Atsumus giving to stop. He had to confront the problem of it all. The source of his fear. The reason why Atsumu never was stuck in this loop. This cycle.

He had to confront their father...and Osamu couldn't even think about him without feeling terrified. Feeling like he was going to drown or get hit..or even…

“Don't do it ‘Samu.”

The darker haired brother jolted in shock as he turned focused back into reality, looking at the stern expression his twin wore. His own eyes hardened as he looked back at Atsumu. Stupid Atsumu. What's with your damn stubbornness?! Don't you know how hard it was on him to see you pushing yourself too far like this?!

“And why not?” he asked tersely, gripping the sheets with the hand that wasn't holding onto Atsumu’s hand.

It was so unfair how Atsumu didn't even let Osamu give anything!! He calls bullshit on how Atsumu 'doesn't deserve receiving anything.’ if anything Atsumu deserved protection too!! He..just deserved it more than Osamu…

Atsumu was everything that Osamu wanted to be.

He was talented. Smart. Amazing. Likable to an extent. Had a lot of friends. Teachers liked him.

Osamu was absolutely none of those.

He wasn't talented. He wasn't smart. No one talked to him. He was lonely. His teachers hated how he was always zoning out during class. They hated how Osamu never compared to Atsumus nearly perfect grades.

Maybe it was because he was scared to get hurt by others or maybe because he knew that he wouldn't be able to handle social interactions without Atsumu somewhere he could see him so his older twin could just swoop in and save him again. That was routine. That was a habit. That was how Osamu lived.

And Osamu...wanted to change it. He doesn't want to hide anymore. He's done being in the shadows of his brother's protective light. He is done with being protected. He’s down feeling weak. He is just done with Atsumu playing “hero.”

He wanted to be the hero this time…

Atsumu looked into Osamus eyes, eyebrows scrunching down when he saw the look of determination in his eyes, the dying fire burning and catching flame to the kindle surrounding it. It was BURNING. Burning everything that was dry and fueling its flame of vengeance and resolves. The fire was dancing, fleeting. Fires always took time to form. Care. Protection to make it grow quicker. 

But not the fire Atsumu sees right now. 

It was quick. Provoked. Intense. A flame that’s been festering, taken care of, CAGED. The embers have just caught onto the fuel of its resolve and anger. And this flame will never go out now. No matter how much you try to douse it. Because the fire that Atsumu sees burning behind his brother's eyes, the fire that’s starting to destroy the cracked and dry walls Osamu has been putting up years after years is now being turned to ash. To nothing. Turning into a flame so hot that Atsumu knew he would be burned terribly should he touch it. 

It terrifies him.

Atsumu let out a shaky sigh, his free hand going over Osamu's fist clenching the sheets. He could feel the fist slowly relaxing underneath his touch, palm just resting on the sheets. It was a few sacred moments of silence for them both. Relaxing. Calming. They both needed to get their bearings. And their head back before they do something rash based on the emotions they both feel right now. In the few moments that had passed, Atsumu took the chance to look back into Osamu's eyes. 

The fire was still there but it was not as big as when Atsmu first saw it. Perhaps it was a spur of the moment emotional moment but either way...the fire was here. A young but old one. One that has spent too long feeling trapped and killed over and over again. 

Atsumu knew what his decision should be. He knew it. Knew it for a while. But that doesn’t make anything any easier. It was never easy to see someone you hold close to your heart be hurt or even see them going through something terrible and self-harming. It wasn’t easy. Nothing was easy. 

Osamu looked at his brother with such a powerful gaze that he thought he could boreholes in his skull if he had some sort of magical power. But he didn't. He wishes he had magic though. Then maybe...he could have another way he could help protect Atsumu…

Atsumu wanted to say something. Something that could hurt Osamu's determination to deter him. To make him reluctant with his decision and think it over again and not react. Sighing shakily again, Atsumu blinked slowly and stared into Osamu's dark, fading gray eyes. Atsumu loved Osamu too much for him to put himself in danger. He could never do that to him...he could never leave him alone. He never wants to leave him alone. 

But what he was thinking of to save Osamu was...not good for the both of them.

Osamu could see something behind Atsumus eyes. Something set. Something new. Something that made him scared.

Because the look that Osamu sees behind Atsumus eyes was nothing like he has never, ever seen from him. Not even when he saw him play volleyball...it was that new to Osamu. That was terrifying. It was already hard enough for Osamu to read Atsumu when he was being normal and they were brothers!! What the hell was going on in his idiotic, protective brother's head was what he wanted to know right now. He wanted to know what stupid, heroic idea he had right now in his head. 

He wished so hard that it didn't end up with Atsumu getting himself hurt.

“Don't give me that look ‘Samu. it just makes you look uglier.” Atsumu snorted derisively. 

Osamu gave his own snort, adding in a roll of his eyes to show his annoyance at his older twins' unneeded comment. He himself was definitely more attractive.

“You wish.”

“I don't have to. I know I am.” Atsumu smirked.

Osamu seriously hated his brother's narcissism and overconfidence. It was annoying him and it made him want to rip his hair out sometimes. Seriously. Can't someone just hurt his ego enough that he doesn't act like that all the time? It was annoying enough that he had to deal with him on the court. Damnit Atsumu.

But even as he looked into his eyes, his soft but observing gaze on him, watching his every move, Osamu could feel his fire slowly...slowly calming down, leaving nothing but a small but still flaming hot fire. Still burning, still strong. Still his own new resolve. The younger twin reached out to grab Atsumus other hand, gripping it tightly and close to his chest. Above his racing heart. He clenched his hands tightly, eyes blinking back the burning pain in them as tears welled up in his eyes.

“Osamu...I want you to know that I'll always love you no matter what.”

Osamu felt his heartthrob painfully at the words, letting go of his hands, and threw himself at Atsumu. They both fell to the floor and Osamu ignored the pain he felt as he wrapped his arms around him tightly. 

(Why does it always have to hurt?)

Atsumu seemed to have the breath be pushed out of him as Osamu just laid on top of him, shaking and trembling as a hand held onto his shirt tightly. His knuckles grew white and tense as he held onto him even tighter. He could feel his eyes burning, even more, welling up with even more tears. His heart so much. It felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. Like someone was squeezing it tightly and someone was going to make it burst. 

“Why do I have to see you again?” he whispered brokenly, voice shaking with every single word he spoke, getting softer and softer.

Every word he spoke felt like he was just forcing it out of himself, forcing him to speak. To slowly accept what was happening.

(Just why?)

Osamu could feel the hesitation, the shock from Atsumu as he slowly wrapped his arms around him. The gray-haired twin felt the tears streaming down his face now, falling on the already wet and soaked shirt of his twin. The soaked, red shirt of his caring and an amazing brother.

“Now ‘Samu...don't..don't cr-y..” Atsumu whispered softly, voice cracking at the end as he slowly ran his fingers through Osamus sweat soaked hair with the gentle hands of a setter.

(Why does it always have to hurt this much?)

Osamu let out a choked sob, clenching his shirt even more in his hands, and ignored the thick liquid starting to soak into his own shirt. Everything was crashing down around Osamu and he knew it. It was crumbling into nothing but ash and rubble, burning and catching fire around him. Everything was burning around him. And he couldn't control it. No matter how much he wanted to.

The heat was getting to him, back burning. Eyes watering from the smoke in his eyes. He slowly pulled away from Atsumus chest to look down into the soft and gentle look of Atsumu’s brown eyes. 

Soft. 

Loving.

Gentle. 

(Please stop...he doesn't want to see this again…)

Osamu felt his breath catch in his throat as he stared into Atsumus eyes. A silent message. A silent plea for him.

‘Run. Escape and live on ‘Samu.’

Osamu could already feel his head shaking rapidly, the tears coming down even quicker down his face. He held onto his shirt, a hand letting go to hold Atsumus' slick, wet, bloody hand. He can't leave him. He protected him from so much. And he wants him to leave him behind?! Why? Why the hell… he can't do this…

(NO!! STOP IT!! DON'T LET ME SEE THIS AGAIN!!)

He needs Atsumu...he needs him so much that Osamu was sure he would die without his brother by his side. He needs him to help him. He needs him to help ground him. To encourage him. To help him feel something!!

Osamu could feel a calloused, warm hand cup his face. The smoke grew more around them, the more the fire ate and ate at their house. Osamu couldn't handle it. He placed a hand over Atsumu, choking back his sobs as he looked into the more urgent look in Atsumu’s eyes.

“O...samu. Promise.”

Osamu could tell how much pain he was in. with every shuddering breath, with each movement he made. His eye flitted over to the growing red spot on his stomach, his stomach lurching. Why was it always Osamu getting in trouble…

Why does Atsumu always have to save him?

(PLEASE STOP IT!! HE UNDERSTANDS NOW!!)

Osamu gripped his Atsumus hand tightly, breathing shakily as he felt smoke enter his lungs. He coughed harshly, covering his mouth as he let go of Atsumu’s shirt. He looked down at him again, nodding. Nodding against his will because he knows that Atsumu would always find a way back to him. A way back to protect him again.

“I..I promise…” he choked out.

His voice didn't sound like him. It was too weak, too broken. Soft. Too full of anger and frustration and sadness. It made his heart hurt too much as he watched Atsumu smile.

Smiling as if he wasn't bleeding right now. Smiling as if he doesn't know that he would die in a fire. Smiling as if he knew it was the last time he would ever see his brother. Smiling...as if he knew something that Osamu didn't. 

“Go.” He whispered, voice fading out just barely as his eyes closed, his hand going limp in Osamu's.

Osamu hated this so much. He hated how Atsumu still had a smile on his face. He hated how a stray tear escaped his eyes. He hated how this memory always has to replay over and over and over again in his mind. He hated that this was always how it was going to end up.

Osamu blinked slowly, the feeling of heat and smoke, and the blood on his hands slowly faded away. The feelings and pain he felt faded, slowly disappearing into nothing but the ghost of a touch of it. A ghost. A faded memory. A horrible memory that Osamu is plagued with.

The burns he felt on his hands were his only injuries that were physical of course. 

The other injuries he had were too horrible and terrible and plagued him every day. Twenty four, seven. He blinked slowly, silent tears slipping down his face. No one was here.

It was just Osamu and the lines and lines of gravestones. Tombs. A cemetery.

Looking down, two new plaques lied beneath him. One brought disgust and anger to him as he read the name on it.

“Here lies Miya Haruto, a loving father.”

Osamu knew better. It was all a lie that everyone believes and never ever seems to even question as Osamu and Atsumu came to school with bruises, believing that they just got into another fight. No one asked…

No one cared enough to even wonder why it always happened.

A lie. That was that grave.

His eyes made his way to the second one, the tears slipping down, even more, his face. The name there was one that shouldn't have even been there. It wasn't right to see that name there. It wasn't right...

“Here lies Miya Atsumu, the best brother to ever exist.”

Osamu's knees went weak as he fell to them, scarred and burned hands clenching the wet grass beneath him. He bit back the sobs that wanted to be ripped from his very core. He can't cry now...he should be used to this by now. He really should be used to this...

The weather was always cliche in Osamu's opinion seeing as how it seemed to be reflecting his mood right now.

Dark. Cloudy. Heavy. Thick. 

And it started with a drop. And then another. And another and another. It was starting off as gentle..but then it grew and grew heavier and heavier, soon creating such a torrential downpour that puddles grew quickly.

Osamu's mood was mirroring the rain.

The flow of the tears was gentle and slow at first but was now flooding out of his eyes. A hand gripped the front of his shirt as his loud and broken sobs were wrenched from his gut. Actually..broken couldn't even begin to describe how they sounded.

It was something worse than broken. Something even more painful and heartbreaking than broken. It sounded as if Osamu was lost.

Lost and all alone. 

No one there for him anymore.

No one to help him. 

No one to be there when he needed someone.

He was all alone now. Truly alone. No one could help him anymore. Not his friends. 

Not a therapist. 

No one but the person in front of him. No one but the person who always protected him. The one who was the light that Osamu loved the most. The hero that Osamu always needed. The only one he had left to even consider his family. 

But now that he was gone...Osamu broke.

His original self disappeared. He's no longer Miya Osamu. He's just a nobody. A shell. A piece of nothing. Someone who lost too much in such a short time. Someone who lost all hope in his life. Someone who doesn't even know what to do anymore. Someone who has nothing to live for anymore.

“I HATE YOU SO MUCH ATSUMU!!”

Osamu screamed into the air.

The words betrayed his heart. The heart that was turning black and chained itself up again. Chains seemed to almost strike through it, locking it itself up from the inside out. Locks and locks and walls and walls were being built up, large and formidable. He won't let himself be hurt again. He can't. But Osamu couldn't help but listen to the small, tiny pure voice that was left of his dead heart.

He couldn't help the whisper it made, the one that made Osamu shake and sob and scream more into the torrential rain. The whisper that had Osamu wanting nothing more to have Atsumu by his side again and to have him tell him what to do. To have him be with him so they could banter and argue over the littlest of things again.

To have him be able to make him smile when he couldn't.

To have him make it seem like he had a reason to live his life again.

“Osamu...I want you to know that i'll always love you no matter what.”

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHHHH IM SO SORRY BUT THIS MADE ME CRY AS I WROTE THIS SDFJALSKDJ 
> 
> not going to lie but I just love the Miya Twins so much and my way of showing how much i love characters is to put them through heartwrenching angst :)


End file.
